I spent the entirety of last week on the beach in Jacksonville, FL. Literally, the entire week. It was fantabulous. Gallivanting on the beach and playing Kan Jam by day. Wandering up and down the local strip stopping at every bar and cigar shop by night.
On top of having blast, the experiences of the week also gave me a much needed chance to reflect and ponder what it means to be a real Alpha Male.
The one bar we always ended up at, even during the last two trips down there, is always full of what appear to be Alpha Males. Walk into that place on any Friday or Saturday night and it will ooze testosterone and confidence, both pseudo and actual. The thing is, the place is always filled with gorgeous woman too. Did these girls not realize that most of these guy were doing nothing more than posturing and pretending? It had my mind spinning the entire week trying to make sense of it all.
Everyone has their own ideas of what it takes to be an Alpha Male. Too bad a lot of these ideas are completely off. What’t truly depressing is that most people’s idea of an Alpha Male is based off of some douche bag they’ve seen on TV. Not surprising considering we as group spend way to much damn time “living” life through a box.
A real Alpha Male is NOT an asshole for the sake of being an asshole. He may be seen as an asshole by some, but this is usually because the Alpha is upfront and honest with everyone. Even if it means hurting someones feelings.
A real Alpha Male is NOT selfish and he doesn’t manipulate people to get his way. Too many guys get this feeling that in order to be seen as an Alpha Male they need to take what they want in any way possible. This is beyond false.
A real Alpha Male is NOT a pick-up artist. Does he enjoy his sex life and enjoy it often? Damn skippy he does! But he is not lining up 3 dates in one night and spitting out lies just to get some action.
Go take a look at the characteristics of pack animals in wild and you’ll start to get a better idea of what characteristics actually make up an Alpha Male. Any type of wild dog, lions, gorillas and chimps are the best examples and the core characteristics are not limited to just 1 or 2 species. They are universal.
What makes an Alpha Male?
A real Alpha Male MUST earn his position. There is no being born into this leadership role. He must fight, sometimes to the death, to prove that his the one. Being the ultimate leader of his pack he is responsible for all of the its successes and it’s failures. Being ready to die in his attempt to gain control is the first of many sacrifices he will make for the pack.
A real Alpha Male MUST always be ready. Just like he fought and won his way to this leadership role, all other males are looking to fight their way into it. When he is always ready to fight for his survival it sends a message to every member of the group that they need to be ready to fight for their survival. He makes the group better by always being ready and demanding that they be ready too.
A real Alpha Male MUST lead from the front. Watch any pack of wolves on a hunt or on the move. Who is in front? The Alpha Male. The well being of the pack is resting on his decisions. If he makes a mistake then everyone pays for it.
Alpha Male characteristics
Like I said, Alpha Male characteristics are universal across species. This includes humans. If you want to find a guy who is a real Alpha Male and not just a douche bag pretending to be an Alpha Male, look for these things:
–He takes care of himself. Physically, emotionally and financially. Every aspect of life is cared for, maybe not perfect, but no neglected either.
–Generally in control of everything in his life. This goes hand in hand with the last point. If a guys retirement plan is playing scratch off tickets and hoping to hit it big some day, he is not Alpha.
–His is able to stay calm and focused when things go wrong. Nothing is more indicative of a mans character than how he acts when nothing is going right. Standing tall and staying calm in the face of uncertainty is Alpha. Cowering, crying or deferring responsibility is not Alpha.
–He has a passionate purpose in life and GOALS he has to achieve. Not goals he wants to achieve, HAS to achieve.
–He is a leader, and comfortable being the person that everyone is looking up to and counting on. A confident leader knows he is in the top tier of men because most other men would buckle under the pressure he stands up to every moment of his life.
–He is loyal. Loyal to his family, friends and everyone close to him who deserves it. On the flip side, he couldn’t care less of someone who doesn’t deserve his loyalty is having problems.
Guys…read these characteristics and internalize them. Live the life of an Alpha Male and stop modeling your perceptions of real men off of reality TV.
Ladies…stop giving the poser Alpha Males any reason to think what they are doing is right. Raise your standards.